a spot of quiet
Perhaps home is not a place but simply an irrevocable condition.
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"I need this more than anything - it’s the make or break moment for me. The moment that I measure my worth in. If I get a “yes”, I’ll forever be an accomplished person - if I get a “no”, i’ll have to wait and build up to another accomplishment. I feel like if I don’t get in, all the moments I’ve used my energy on will instantly become meaningless. If i do get in, those moments will contrarily be finally rewarded, and I will be able to breathe softer, I will be calm with the thought that my future is going to happen the way I imagined it would, the way I dreamed it would when i was stuck in a home surrounded by 10 year olds smoking, yelling mothers, abusive fathers - not mine, but the neighbors.
I need this moment more than I have ever needed anything. I thought I needed love, but I don’t. I need this. I need to be worth something."
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